I have picked up the phrase ‘sick and tired’ from my parents and until now I didn’t really appreciate what it meant. Until now. When I feel constantly sick and tired.
I never thought I would have so much trouble eating. That was until I got pregnant. Now I am having to force feed myself. As a well known coffee addict my body has gone completely cold turkey in the last couple of weeks. This probably accounts for some of the extreme tiredness at the moment. Wow this is tough. And I know it’ll all be worth it, but at 8 weeks pregnant, sitting in the office trying to force food into my mouth because I hope it will make me feel better (after throwing up my unwanted breakfast this morning) I am feeling pretty miserable. I mean how do people do this time and time again. Presumably with the added complication of hyperactive toddlers. I’m finding my reasonably well behaved dog hard work at the moment.
I suppose the only bonus is I have stopped waking up at 4 in the morning feeling sick. Progress. The problem is that feelings of hunger so quickly turn into those of nausea, that by the time I have found something to eat I just don’t want it. And the list of things I just don’t fancy seems to grow everyday. Coffee, anything sweet, most drinks, strong smelling stuff, whatever Nick happens to have cooked me for dinner, the leftovers from last night’s dinner (which last night were fine, today are a no go). The list is endless.
The list of things I can eat is pretty short at the moment. Potatoes, salted crisps, marmite on toast (although this morning this made a second showing, so I might have to rethink that as well), oh and a Solero which went down like a treat last week. That seems to be it. And then I have my first midwife appointment, who on the one hand says a healthy diet is important, as everything I eat feeds baby and on the other is concerned about my bmi and tells me to try and stock up on calories. Believe me if I could I would. I am well aware a diet of salted crisps and marmite on toast is probably not conjusive to the nourishment of the baby.
Once in a while I manage a decent meal. Yesterday I got through a whole chicken lunch without once looking like I may chuck it all over the place – just as well as this was a Chamber of Commerce business lunch, and I had to do the after dinner talk!!!!!
So the last couple of weeks have been pretty miserable for me. I genuinely love food and to have this enjoyment removed from me is a bit of a trial. I am also a generally active and fit person, so to have to drag myself through the day, quite literally, is a little depressing. Currently I’m not even managing to stay awake through Masterchef.
It hasn’t helped that the last week has for one reason or other, been really busy. Trying to juggle a 4.45 start with the usual morning sickness and camping was not fun I tell you. Usually this probably wouldn’t been a problem, but currently I am struggling in a massive way.
My thoughts go out to anyone who is currently feeling this way, or has done in the past, it is frankly shit. And the worse thing is nothing makes it any better. Nothing. I have tried ginger (that was a mistake), peppermint (another massive mistake), avoiding certain foods, eating little and often, eating mints, trying to get enough sleep. None of this has made a blind bit of difference. Most depressingly because I am crap at feeling ill.
Let’s hope the next couple of weeks are a bit better. Fingers crossed. I mostly hope so because I think Nick is sad that I’m obviously not very happy. And I feel like I should be more excited, but at the moment it is difficult to just muster the energy to get up in the morning.